Be you

Today's Quote: "A friend is someone with who you dare to be yourself." ~ Frank Crane

Today's Question: Who in your life can you be completely and utterly yourself with?

How I Apply:

I believe I share too much of myself with people and I open myself up to all kinds of hurt. I am rather naive and think that like me people only want what is best for you. I think the best of everyone but not everyone thinks the best of others.

I dare to be myself in many situations and I get told over and over again that I have to change in order to get sales in my business or act differently to the person I am so that I can come from the same place as other people are coming from.

I understand this and I know that people either get me and where I am coming from or they don't get me AT ALL.

I realise that I can come across soft and squishy but hey, that's just me, what can I say...?

I do get that I might need to alter my approach after reading the situation before me but I hope I don't get lost in there. Can I be truly myself with everyone?

The photo above is me with my dad when I visited home earlier this year. My family have always just been themselves and I like that about them.

Are you being it?

Today's Quote: “When I was young, my mother always told me happiness was the key to life. When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they don’t understand life.” ~ John Lennon

Today's Question: What word did you wish to be when you grew up? Are you being it?

How I Apply:

I always wanted to be content. Happiness came and went but contentment could last.

I apply contentment to my life by using the many wonderful coaching tools and techniques I have learnt over the past several years. By listening to my authentic voice. By hanging out with others who bring out the contented me. By enjoying the moment and bringing an air of mindfulness to everything I do.

Sometimes it is lost and yes I struggle with it and fall off the path but I quickly realise that it feels strange to me and put myself back on it by reading a nice book from my personal wellbeing library or speaking to a friend who shares my vision for a world filled with contentment.

Photo by Pen3ya Creative Commons

An Authentic Life

Today's Quote: "Thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still, we take this step with the false assumption that our truths and ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life's morning; for what was great in the morning will be little at evening, and what in the morning was true will at evening become a lie" ~ From The Stages Of Life by Carl Jung

Today's Question: How can you step away from ego?

How I apply:

The ego is a tricky devil. We live this way in the early years of our lives and some people live it on and on. It ultimately becomes inauthentic and unfulfilling. Our ego says we should have possessions and pure driven ambition and that we will be nothing without accolades or achievements. This is the morning of life with which Jung refers.

There may come a time when we peer cautiously into a different space inside of us and hear the whisperings of something new, a longing for something more authentic and true to who we are, what our soul knows. Listening to our soul can be scary. Many of my clients are afraid of what they might find there. Yet this is the only way we can become more in line with who we are, what we value and how we show up in the world.

I continue to struggle with this myself. More and more though I am letting the ego quiet down and my soul to find it's clear voice inside. It is more loving, more nurturing, more peaceful and giving. It wishes to hold me in its arms yet allows me to be free to make errors along the way.

I wish this for you too. The energy of the world is changing, people aren't tolerating what they used to. You only have to watch or read the news stories to see this. Global shifts in consciousness are upon us. Now is the time of the soul...♡

Be who you are

Today's Quote: “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” ~ Joseph Campbell

Today's Question: Are you being you?

How I Apply:

I was always following someone else's plan. Gathering every opinion going. What do you think I should do? How do I go about this? Is this the right way?

Or I would read books on how other people did things and achieved and I would think that if I just followed the path of someone I admired then I would achieve the same results. Not so. I was following their map, not mine.

I heard something recently about creating your own map and it really resonated with me. Was I being me? Nope, I was being someone else and wondering why things weren't satisfying me.

Now I play by my own flexible and soft rules and follow my own path through the map I have created. I am being the best version of me that I can be right now and that is all I can do.

I may go to slow and stop along the way to smell the flowers and hug those in my path and I know that I am going at the right pace for me now.

So are you being you? Or are you being someone else's version of who you think you ought to be? ♥

Thinking Vs Reality

Today's Quote: "You’re just suffering from the belief that there’s something missing from your life. In reality, you always have what you need." ~ Byron Katie

Today's Question: What beliefs are you suffering from? Is it time to change your thinking to better serve your life?

How I Apply:

I go back again and again to Byron Katie's work. Our suffering is a result of our thinking. I presented recently on stress resilience and someone asked me how her thinking would cause her suffering. Here was my answer:

Imagine you don't get on well with your manager. They boss you around and put you down and generally aren't nice for you to be around. So imagine you go home and you complain to anyone who will listen and tell them how horrid your manager is and how unfairly you feel you have been treated. What has happened is reality (your boss may not be very nice to you) and what you have attached to that is the thinking..they should be nice to me, it must be different, this is terrible and you go round in an emotional cycle.

Or you could choose to say you know what I am going to relax in a bath, have a glass of wine or whatever and realise that this is the way of it and not attach all the angst. The situation hasn't caused your suffering, your thinking around it has.

It is the same with something we feel is missing...more money, a slimmer waistline, a great job, well behaved children. When we perceive these things to be missing from our lives then we wind up being unhappy- we put ourselves there simply by thinking. If we can do that then we can change our thinking and change our lives.

This can be a huge challenge for people as we constantly fight with reality. No amount of being in other people's business will change that person and the way you perceive they treat you. You can be free simply by changing your thoughts around the situation.

I invite you to take one situation in your life and see what options you can come up with of how your thinking can change to one of angst to one of peace. Start small and go from there.

Ask "What am I thinking about.........and how is this thinking serving me right now?" & "What is missing from my life and when I think about it how does it affect me in everyday life?"

Then ask "What new thinking would I like to have around this situation that would empower me?"

Go on...✍

Angels

Today's Quote: "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another." ~ Luciano de Crescenzo

Today's Question: Who or what do you embrace?

How I apply:

Something happened to me very recently that will ensure I never again question the presence of angels. I was always a bit skeptical and this new awareness is very fragile and I am holding it delicately in my hand for fear of crushing it.

When I embrace my intuition and other people, life works out in the most amazing ways. Every day is about embracing someone else with love in your heart. If we could all just reach out to someone in need and soften the harshness that life sometimes throws our way then each of our journeys may be that much richer (((((hugs)))))

Creative Commons photo by bI0ndeeo2

Guest Blog Post

Today I am doing something a bit different.

I have recently written a blog post for Bludot titled Stress Less for Better Relationships so check it out over there!!

Enjoy!

Yvonne

Paths

Today's Quote: "There are many paths but only one journey." ~ Naomi Judd

Today's Question: Whose journey are you on?

How I Apply:

We travel many paths in our lifetime. Some are smooth and hassle free, some contain uneven surfaces that cause us to stumble and some are steep and arduous. Some we travel alone and some we share with others. Some lead to darkness and some lead to light. There are many paths in this world and yet only one journey. The journey of your life!

Yet sometimes we are so busy looking at the lives of others. Have you noticed? We tell others what to do and how to be, we comment and dissect, we pick apart and sometimes tear down. Some of us may be doing this out of pure love for the other person. We tend to have people's best interests at heart but we have to admit that sometimes we meddle too much in the lives of others.

I call this being on someone else's journey.

When I find that I am getting into this space, I take a mental step back and ask as the great teacher Byron Katie "Whose business am I in right now?" If the answer isn't "mine" then I stop and close my lips to keep from opening up something that may not be the best way forward.

Whose journey am I on? Only mine and it is wonderful and blessed and fraught and scary and light and dark and full and bright...

Fun or Flat out Friday?

Today's Quote: "I'm picking and choosing in terms of the stress factor. If it's not fun, I'm not going to do it." ~ Anita Baker

Today's Question: What are you stressing about this Friday?

How I apply:

So many of us carry so much stress and are always on to the next project and the next and the next. Stringing together so many lists of 'to do's' that we are constantly putting ourselves under pressure and feel like we are going flat out.

What would it take for you to shorten your list today? Take a breather? See what comes out of being softer with yourself...

I usually make a Friday a day for me and my business. I still work on stuff that I have to do but I do it with gentleness and ease. I don't beat myself up for taking it slowly. I like to ease into the weekend and I am very aware that this is a luxury as I work for myself.

So what if you are at work and the deadlines are piling up and you feel you are so stressed that it is never going to be all complete by close of business?

You could:

• Take 5 minute break by stretching
• Walking slowly around the office
• Ducking outside for a breath of fresh air
• Simply taking some nice calming deep breaths and asking yourself "what could I do to turn this into a bit of a game with myself, to not make it so significant. To lighten my load?"

Deep down you have all the wisdom you need to make good choices for yourself and your health because when it comes down to it- accumulated stress+you= sickness and this in turn could lead to you being forced to take time away from work for an extended period.

NZ folks- enjoy the loooong weekend!!

Creative Commons photo by Swamibu (top)

Creative Commons photo by Toastie 14 (bottom)

Meditation gifts

Today's Quote: "Mr. Belafonte is 84 years young, but sharper and more awake than most who have been interviewing him. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people took a moment to meditate." ~ Ken Sunshine (Mr Belafonte's rep)

Today's Question: Would your world be a better place if you took some time to meditate?

How I apply:

The benefits of meditation are amazing, simply astounding! These include but are not limited to:

Improved immunity

Reducing anxiety, depression and distress

Increased empathy

Greater use of positive coping skills such as engagement and prioritising

Greater ability to resolve workplace conflicts

Improved sleep

Greater self-awareness

Improved communication

Enhanced Emotional Intelligence- self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups

It is a brilliant gift to give yourself and it doesn't have to take long. It can be sprinkled throughout your day or carried out in the morning or evening. Whatever works for you.

You can go on many different courses to find a meditation practice that suits you and that you will likely stick with. Have a play with it.

I have been meditating for many years now and find that it grounds me on a daily basis. I can always go to a state of bliss when I feel overwhelmed or in need of nourishment. I sprinkle it throughout the day and that works for me. I completed my teacher training in meditation with the Melbourne Meditation Centre and they promote a mainstream meditation that almost anyone can do and you need no prior meditation experience.

I will be running a beginners meditation group in Wellington in November and am right now finding a nice space to hold it in.

Take a moment right now and simply close your eyes, take 4 deep calming breaths. Feel the breath go right down and through you and take it to any spaces inside which feel tightness. Breathe into that space and sigh the breath back out.

Have a great day♥

Thoughts have you

Today's Quote: "You don't have thoughts; the thoughts have you." ~ Eckhart Tolle

Today's Question: What thoughts have a hold on you?

How I apply:

I work with my clients to begin to actively become aware to their thoughts. I usually start with 5 minutes a day of simply becoming present to the thoughts you are sitting thinking. Mindfully and with gentleness. No judgement of them, just being a silent observer.

We have 60-80,000 thoughts a day so they will always be there. Most people mistakingly believe that meditation is carried out to quiet the mind- to get rid of thoughts. It is actually to become present to the thoughts and the aim is to grow the length of space between the thoughts. They are always coming- we cannot stop them yet we can become present to them and listen for the spaces between them.

When most people first become aware of the thoughts they have, they can begin to see how these thoughts might limit them from doing something they want to do, be someone they want to be...

The first step and gift is getting quiet with yourself.

Music

Photo- creative commons- Daniel Paxton

Today's Quote: "You are the music while the music lasts." ~T.S Elliot

Today's Question: What kind of life music are you playing?

How I apply:

The music I talk of here is the music of your soul. I heard Dr Wayne Dyer once say that we should never die with our music still inside us. If you have a knowing that there is something in this life that you are meant to do then begin little by little composing the notes that may bring you the music.

I let my music play by loving, living life to the fullest, acting with kindness and ultimately seeing myself as part of a collective and not separate from anybody.

You could be a great artist and yet have never picked up a pencil or brush, you could be a great writer yet not let one word fall onto a page, you could be a great musician yet your fingers have never touched one instrument, you could be a fantastic actor but have never graced a stage with your presence.

In which ways could you begin the exploration of your unique music?

Spring into Action

Creative Commons photo by Brian Scott

Today's Quote: "The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one." -Mark Twain

Today's Question: What could you break down into manageable chunks this spring?

How I Apply:

I absolutely love order and clean spaces so although my home never gets all that cluttered, things can pile up into disorder and I know it is becoming a challenge for me when I walk into a room and feel icky!

A lot of my clients talk about the clutter in their home or lives and the best assistance I can give with this is to find out the ways in which the clutter occurs in the first place and then how can it be broken down so that the task is not so overwhelming that nothing gets done about it?

For example, taking one room at a time then one drawer in that room and setting about it. Aim to do that one drawer and do it well. Then move on with the rest- one at a time.

This is manageable and easily accomplished.

This can be applied to many areas of your life too.

• Finance spring clean- get honest with yourself about your finances ~ make a budget sheet for you and your family
• Home spring clean- get honest about the amount of clutter in your home/garage ~ Make a list of every room in your home and break it down into a task list you can do over time
• Relationship spring clean- who do you love spending time with and who completely drains you and your energy ~ use the many social media sites or simply write down the people in your life and what they provide you with and make a plan to spend more time with your cherished friends and family members and perhaps limit time with those who don't nourish you as much
• Health spring clean-what kinds of things are you doing for your health and wellbeing ~ Make your health a priority (we only get one body in this life) treat yourself like the precious being you are and clear out the foods in your home which add to unhealthy habits and bring in more clean foods that will nourish you. You could try visiting a health food store and picking one new food a week that you can try

Good luck with the spring clean and enjoy the process of springing into action!!

Small things with love

Today's Quote: "In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love."~ Mother Teresa

Today's Question: What small things are you doing for others that are filled with love?

How I apply:

As love is my highest value, I live with it in my heart everyday so no matter what I do, I do it with love. Every opportunity that comes my way I can choose to approach it with love and when I do, it always meets my value and therefore I feel more connected to the outcome♡

Light

Today's Quote/passage:

There is a light that shines beyond all things on Earth,
beyond us all,
beyond the heavens,
beyond the highest,
the very highest heavens.
This is the light that shines in our heart.

~ Chandogya Upanishad 3.13.7

Today's Question: What is the light in your heart saying to you? What would it take to let it shine?

How I Apply:

The light in my heart says to me that everything happens for a reason. This is why I feel open to everything and attached to nothing. Living this way enables me to see the perfection in everything around me without fear (the very thing that stops most of us from shining).

To let it shine I go through life with a curious and open heart learning from everyone around me. This means that what irritates and annoys a lot of people doesn't seem to do the same with me. There are times I have to struggle to see the perfection but more often than not it is simply present in me.

So how can you let your light shine?

Today's picture by Denis Collette (creative commons)

Fishy Friday

Today's Quote: "The water is your friend.....you don't have to fight with the water, just share the same spirit as the water and it will help you move." ~ Alexander Popov

Today's Question: What are you fighting against in your life and what is going swimmingly?

A Bit About Me:

There are many things that I used to fight against but these days I find myself in a much more allowing phase. I allow things to be rather than use more of my energy fighting!

When we let go and surrender (which can be a scary word for some people) it actually frees us. We allow our attachments to things go and feel way more empowered- I have seen this happen too often not to believe it.

Why live life the hard way when we can allow it to go swimmingly?

I hope you enjoy the video above as much as I did!

Daily Affirmations

Today's Quote was something I read in a great book that really resonated with me. The book was written by Cheryl Richardson and Louise Hay and you can see it over there ☛ :

When talking about affirmations and new thinking "These thoughts, words and actions produce feelings; and our feelings become the currency with which we purchase our life experiences."

Today's Question: Which thoughts, words and actions are producing great feelings in your life? Which are leaving you feeling flat?

A Bit About Me:

I would say I have (most of my life) been an optimist. I aim to see the good and perfection in everything. Sometimes I struggle with this one. There are days where I fail to see it but I still look and I think that is what I am getting at.

Every thought you have leads to an action and sometimes it can be like Jessica above where you leap out of bed and have a swell day and other times you simply want to pull the covers over your head and stay in bed.

I have started doing more and more affirmations and for me they really do work. They produce feelings I want more of. Life experiences become richer when we look at it with a happy slant!

Startling

Quote inspired by Dustin Hughes video below. Please support

Creative Commons photo above by Jim Barker

Today's Quote: "To live life so startling it leaves little time for anything else." ~ Emily Dickinson

Today's question: What is startling about your life?

A Bit About Me:

When I googles 'startling' it said Very surprising, astonishing or remarkable. I think that is a great way to live life...don't you?

So as I look over my own life right now I ask myself the same question taking the definition into consideration.

So here is the answer- I surprise myself recently with my comfort with going out and networking. I see it working and so am not so afraid of it anymore. I actually love getting out of the office now and am doing it more and more.

My life is astonishing as many many things keep falling into my lap when I ask for them (I know now, never to question that) it just simply works and now I just have to say I am going to win the lottery (what better way to help my fellow earth dwellers?).

Remarkable- well it is remarkable that when faced with challenges that used to scare me off now have me raring to go! It is remarkable also that I have so far stuck to my 90-day fitness

challenge and am actually loving it....✓

How can you make your life a startling story??

Uninspiring Habits

Creative Commons- Sebastian Ziebell

Today's Quote: "Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken."~ Warren Buffett

Today's Question: What uninspiring habit would you like to change?

A Bit About Me:

The one habit I can't seem to shake is drinking Coca-Cola Zero. Try as I might I really enjoy a glass or two during the day, especially with some salty snack. Now don't get me wrong I have worked out almost every day since January the first this year and I eat a really balanced Vegetarian diet. The coca-cola thing is so not in line with anything I value so why do it? Well I actually enjoy the feeling of the fizz in my mouth (my insides don't and they can little tolerate the carbonation) I enjoy the taste and I even enjoy the smell.

So I would say that this habit is one worth keeping as it is kind of inspiring to me.

However, if I were berating myself every time I drank a glass, if I was disgusted with myself and really really wanted to give it up then how would I go about that?

I went to a really interesting talk the other night by Jennifer McDonald on Using Neuroscience to overcome 'Bad Habits'. Now as my background is in Nursing I know some cool stuff about the brain but this talk described how our brains are involved in habit formation and in breaking a habit. It's not as simple as stating that we want something to change. Many areas of the brain are used to give up bad habits.

The one I liked the best and is closest to what I take my clients through was Gollwitzer's If-Then model and I'll briefly outline it for you to try at home.

(If situation Y is encountered, then I will initiate behaviour Z in order to reach my goal X!)

I'll use the example Jennifer gave on the night as it is a very common one. So say my goal is to lose 5kg's I must be very specific with the actions such as "If I go to morning tea and someone has brought lovely treats into the office, then I will (put in specific action you will take) in order to reach my goal of losing 5kg's".

This trigger should then interrupt the behaviour. Always have a different choice available to you.

Try it for yourself!!

21st Sep World Peace Day

Today's Quote: "It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it." ~ Martin Luther King, Jr

Today's Question: How will you promote peace today?

A Bit About Me:

Peace is one of my highest values and I strive to promote it every day. From the littlest way to the hugest way, I bring it into being. Peace with myself starts off my day by the simple act of meditation. This allows me to carry it on into my day by giving my husband a hug with his morning smile, the words I choose to speak, the actions I choose to take, the thoughts I choose to think.

If everyone brought more peace into their day like they will this day, amazing things can be achieved. I encourage you to make your way over here and get involved in promoting peace today!

Happens in a blink

Today's Quote: "I refuse to allow life's challenges to fuel my excuses, I will instead embrace my adversity, adapt to my circumstances and use this moment as the catalyst for making the lives of others around me better. I will never stop fighting forward." ~ Dustin Hughes

Today's Question: Which of life's challenges are you using to fuel your excuses?

A Bit About Me:

I am writing today's blog post from my bed. I woke up with a really dodgy stomach (something I must have eaten...), In the same vein as Friday's post, this video link was on a newsletter written by one of my favourite authors and coaches and I had to share. Just look at all those quotes!!! I am going to be using some of these in upcoming posts.

Life can challenge us and we have a choice. I choose to embrace my gift and the love junkie in me and even though standing up and talking in front of people was never high up on my list, it is what I will embrace to get the message of conscious communication out there to the world.

Life does happen in a blink but you can impact those around you so that blink is the best it can be!!

Dancing through

Today's Quote: "If I had not seen how quickly one's life can end, I probably wouldn't have taken the steps to change my life." ~ Ney Melo

Today's Question: Are you dancing through life or are you struggling through?

A Bit About Me:

I guess I am lucky in many ways. Having a blend of nursing, coaching, adult training and business, I have seen many sides to life. I have mentioned before how I have seen people teetering on the brink of death and the words which come out of their mouths isn't "did I work well at my job, was I the best employee" or "didn't I make so much money." No, all they talk about and think about is if they loved well and were loved. Did they do the best by these people, spend enough time in life loving what they did.

So I get to ask you now- are you dancing through life or are you struggling through?

Please think about this question with openness and honesty. 9/11, the Christchurch earthquakes, Japan, illness caused by accumulated stress and recessions brings up change for many people. We seem to struggle with a lot of things and let's now think of the benefits of letting some of those go. Dance through life instead ♡

Spaces Between

Today's Quote: "Music is the silence between the notes." ~ Claude Debussy

Today's Question: Are you listening to the spaces in your own life?

A Bit About Me:

I do a lot to increase my own self-awareness so I am therefore aware of the spaces in my life. I gain great insight when I am listening to the silences between my thoughts (of which we have 60-80,000 a day). The next time you are getting caught up in your own life and taking everything way to seriously, try remembering this post or right now go and write down on a post-it "Am I listening to the spaces." Place it somewhere you will see it as a reminder to listen every now and then to the silence between your thoughts and find freedom within that space. Give yourself the gift of this practice and watch yourself transform ✿

You're Right

Today's Quote: “If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.”~ Henry Ford

Today's Question: Have you been observing where your thinking is going? Do you have a can do attitude?

A Bit About Me:

Recently I have been struggling with this. I know a person can do anything they can dream, as long as it is based in realistic terms. Obviously if you dream of being president or prime minister but are in your 50's with absolutely no political experience- things may be rather tough but I am talking about a realistic dream that is in line with your core values.

I know I have the knowledge and smarts to run my own business yet sometimes my thinking can get in the way. It can trip me up and when I think such thoughts as "Nobody will buy my services," then will I stop myself from going out to sell??? Of course I will!!!

Therefore I am right, nobody will buy from me as they won't even know about me!

If I think with a can do attitude and say "I believe in what I have and I am going to tell people about it." It will lead to me being confident to speak about my services and may lead to a sale. I say may because as we all know, we don't get everything we want in life but we can at least go for it and reach towards our dreams and look back and say "At least I gave it my best shot."

Reach out and touch the world with your magic✳